While speaking with my wife via cellphone, I shared with her, “It’s the strangest thing—as I was speaking with you a moment ago, I was petting our horse, Sugar Pine, and he began stomping his front leg. I looked and Sugar had plenty of food and clean water. He looked healthy but continued to stomp his front left leg as if trying to tell me something. Now I’m petting our other horse, Charlie, and Charlie is also stomping his front left leg, even though he has plenty of food and water.”
When I explained this to our “Horse Whisperer”, she replied by putting her hands up in the air and saying, “Hmmmmm.” It was so very obvious: I was petting the horses, but I was not present like I usually am. I was focused on my phone conversation, and the horses were letting me know of their disapproval of my lack of engagement while interacting with them.
One of the most basic and essential tools for therapists or for anyone trying to communicate with others is to be present and be a good, not distracted, listener. Many times, a client will share with the therapist, “That session was so beneficial, and thank you sincerely,” and the therapist will feel that all they really did was hold space. By remaining fully present and not distracted, they were able to not only listen but truly “hear” the client as they spoke.
Sometimes it takes a horse to remind us of the importance of not being distracted.
Soberman's Estate is a residential men's addiction treatment center that provides discreet, individualized, sophisticated recovery and wellness services for adult men that want to recover from substance use disorders, and or other behavioral issues such as trauma, anxiety, depression, stress, or other addictions.
If you or someone you know are struggling and wondering about the next step for receiving help, please call our Admissions Director for a complimentary consultation at 480.771.9241, or email info@SobermansEstate.com.